Underachievers Anonymous

Working where I do, I am fortunate enough to do at least one thing a day that is related to arts and culture. An exhibition opening, a visit to an artist's studio, be in a panel discussion, work on exhibit design.... it is a happy endless road.

On Thursday, I watched five photographers' slide shows at the Metropolitan Museum here in Manila. Reaction Shots to a Japanese contemporary photography show ongoing. I chose the five artists to be part of the project and to see them all come up with distinct and unforgettable images was a proud moment. And in the six years I've been doing this, this is the first time I felt incredibly confident that it would be good.

In high school, I didn't know anything about arts and culture. I was not an artist. The artists were M and B, the incredibly smart but painfully underachieving duo who drew and painted and dreamed. M has climbed her own Everest, B is creating her design empire one beaded bag at a time. It came naturally to them, mine was a switch I had to turn on. And then hone, and solder, and break through art school.

M and B are like Steve. It came naturally to them, it comes naturally to Steve. Steve is one of the best artists working with photography in the Philippines. Steve was one of the artists in the Met slide show. He had to react to an image on androgyny. He made a transitioning still video of a boy into a tranny, called 'Keven to XTina". It blew us all away. The eyes held the position through the thirty-second show. There was an elegance and sexiness to it, that made XTina who was in the audience whisper "oh my God, I am really as FABULOUS as I think I am".

But like M and B in high school (they are no longer under achievers, OVER na sila ngayon), Steve is painfully underachieving. So much potential! But so much work. We did a show for him a few years ago which was a minor bangungot! R, A (the curator), and I had to pick up the prints an hour before the show and cut them ourselves. Super photo-finish to install, while Steve was worrying about the DJ!

This year, we scheduled a show for him at the end of September, and for one reason or the other, it's not going to happen. He is not ready. He is somewhere else doing something else, then flying to do a two week job somewhere else. There are no images for the show. Rock star.

Then I see "Keven to XTina" and think, "God, he is good".


Image: "Empire", 2010, part of Bare Tactics, by me

Our Dear M

It is that time of year. The whole month has been very celebratory as three of us who squat in the warehouse are all Leos. A party the first week, a show opening the second week, a trip to somewhere drivable the third week. The BOOM, right before my birthday, heart break!!!

Our girl M who has been with us for the last four years, trained to invisible domesticity and treated as family, by T, R, and I needed to go home to Probinsiya to tend to father who is on deathbed. Fine, an emergency is an emergency. Go.

But roughly three hours after she tells us, she drops the bomb -- she wasn't coming back. Wow, that pulled the rug. Her father has assigned her to take care of her mother and stay in Probinsya. Personally, I think it's a little unfair as the reason they gave her is because she is the only single one left. Hello! She is the only single one left because she is the Smartest. And she can go really far with us, and substantially help her family the more she learns and earns with us.

Haaay naku.

We are not only losing our girl. We are losing our labandera, (primary) mother of the dog, reason we go to church, and friend.
My measure of a good friend is someone you can spend lots of time with and you are both fine ignoring each other. M ignored us for the most part but really took care of our little boy dog and our home.

The day she left was incredibly painful. We were all crying. It was traumatic. Her father being sick. The loss of a friend. The loss of all those years of training that we put in. Sort of felt like the last day of high school when you know you will never see each other again. At 6 am, the day before my birthday, I stood in our living and told her, 'ma-mimiss ka namin, huwag kang mahiya o matakot na bumalik', and CRIED. Then she said, 'Mam, Happy Birthday po'. Then she SOBBED.

More than the loss, its the suddenness of it.

So now the search for a new M begins.

I'll let you know if she comes back.

Meanwhile, my birthday passed. And now I have to do laundry and feed the Tiger.






Image: Tower, 2010, part of the Bare Tactics show at Blanc, Peninsula Hotel, by me