Wala Nang Tatay Gang

I belong to a loose association of daughters I've called the "Wala Nang Tatay Gang" (No More Fathers Gang). I found that when I lost my father, it was the turning point for me into real adulthood, into real responsibility. Something that I verbalized some years ago to a new friend on a warm summer night in the East Village while I was living in New York. Turns out that Megan had lost her father too, about the same time I did, and that we felt exactly the same. As it has been with other friends who have lost their fathers. It does not matter what you age you are when he passes away, if you're 15 or 50 or in my case, when I was 23. It just changes you completely. A few weeks ago, Leah, Marga and I were sitting around the gallery, and I realized that we were all part of the Wala Nang Tatay Gang. Leah had a good point: she goes to a lot of funerals because she remembers all the people who went to her father's and how meaningful it was to her. As I added that I really enjoyed Marga's dad's funeral as it was so well done-- from the music to the flowers to the eulogies.

I make it a point of going to wakes and funerals. I can't say I enjoy them but I really appreciate them. Pulling off a great wake and funeral is difficult but is not impossible. Tita Pam's father's wake was very nice, and her eulogy was incredibly honest but strong.

Today, with a heavy heart, I welcome Julia and Akiko Thomson to our sturdy group. I did not know J Marsh Thomson well in life but he was a handsome man with a wonderful family. This evening, he looked very handsome in a pina barong in a dark wood casket. With his uniforms and his military medals on one side, and photos of family and animals on the other. He will be missed.